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Whispers, 3d/4

My first Spuffy fic, Whispers, has never been posted to my journal (it’s at seven_seasons ), so I am doing that now.  If you’ve already read it, there isn’t anything new.  I just wanted to have all my stories available on my journal.

Title: Whispers
Chapter: Three ~ You Say You Want a Revelation
Rating/Warning: NC-17 for sexual situations and blood play.
Summary: After Spike endures torture at the hands of Glory to protect the identity of the Key, Buffy is forced to reconsider everything she ever thought she knew about the vampire, leading to some startling revelations.
Setting: Season 5, immediately post-Intervention.
Disclaimer: The characters herein are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  They are being used out of respect and admiration, and not for the sake of profit.  No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: This story is self-beta’d and I know that there are errors and other things that could be fixed to make it better.  However, this is the way it was first posted and I am leaving it be.  Chapter three is posted in three four parts (A,B,C,D) due to it's length.
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Previous Chapter: Chapter Three, Part C


Chapter Three, Part D
You Say You Want a Revelation



At some point during the night, Buffy had shifted her position to lie face-to-face with Spike.  She knew this immediately as she awoke, with his erection pressing into her thigh and his lips peppering kisses all over her face.  Spike knew the moment she reached wakefulness, for his lips quickly captured hers in a kiss both eager and heartbreaking.


Morning, Buffy realized, as she parted her lips, deepening the kiss that felt far too much like goodbye.


When they parted, Spike smiled weakly at her before moving slowly to sit up.  Buffy reluctantly pulled out of his embrace, her rested muscles screaming at her to stop!, lie back down and stay...just stay.  But she couldn’t, and they both knew it.


Buffy felt his eyes on her as she donned her soiled pants and fastened her boots, each second deepening the distance between them, though physically they were only inches apart.  He rose with her as she stood, and their eyes met, and Buffy’s knees threatened to buckle from the potency of his stare and the renewed spark of power, tapping in to the undeniable energy passing between them.  When he stepped forward, quickly despite the stiffness of his limbs, Buffy moved to meet him, her hands flattened against his chest as he gripped her arms and crashed his mouth to hers.


Fire, was Buffy’s only coherent thought, as Spike’s tongue drove past her lips with desperate fervency.  She was barely aware that they were moving, him guiding her slowly, haltingly backward, each shuffling step bringing her closer and closer to the ladder, and farther away from him.  They parted when her back met the cool concrete of the block, another blazing look passing between them as she turned to ascend into the upper level of the crypt.


Buffy extended him a hand as he came through the opening behind her.  The moment his feet found purchase, Spike used the connection to pull her to him again.  Buffy came willingly, a lump forming in her throat and her eyes misting with unshed tears as the finality of the kiss pierced through the dreamlike passion.  Morning had arrived, complete with the sunlight and shadows and all her real-world responsibilities.  Buffy felt torn between the reality of her duties and her overwhelming desire for the man in front of her, and pangs of potent, heart-wrenching grief attacked her soul.  Because she knew she had to go, out into the daylight and back to her life, where she was the Slayer and he was the demon, and Spike knew it, too.  Her tears fell with each step they took toward the door, wetting her cheeks and leaving behind their salty tang as a reminder of everything she was about to lose.


When her back hit the door, Buffy moaned a mournful sob, and tore her mouth from his to look directly into his own tearful gaze.


“Please,” she pleaded, fingers clutching at the skin of his chest, still warm from holding her through the night.  “No matter what happens, remember this...remember it, because I meant everything.”


“Buffy...” he sighed, dropping his forehead to meet hers.


“And don’t let me forget this,” Buffy added, fingers drifting to dry the tears on his face, trace the line of his lips.  “Please don’t let me forget.”


The desperation she felt when he kissed her again was nearly her undoing, but she held onto this final, parting caress, trying to tell him with her mouth everything she couldn’t say in words.  Spike opened the door, lips and tongue doing their best to burn the memory of this into her soul as he guided her slowly outside.  The light of morning touched their faces, but Spike held on, enduring a moment of hissing smoke before breaking away and drawing back into the safety of the doorway.


They stood, facing each other, just the two of them, divided by the line between light and shadow.  The line that once meant everything to Buffy.  The same line that suddenly ceased to matter.  Spike couldn’t cross it, but she knew now it was never his barrier.  It was always hers.


After a long moment, at once endless and yet over far too soon, Buffy and Spike shared a single, solemn nod.  Her vision blurred as she turned away and willed herself to start walking.  Buffy listened as she moved, but she didn’t hear the familiar sound of the crypt door creaking shut, and she knew that Spike remained in the darkened doorway, watching her walk away from him.  Away from them.  The urge to turn back was powerful, but she resisted, though each step in the direction of home twisted the stake imbedded in her heart.  If she turned back now, she wasn’t certain that she could leave again. 


She had left part of herself, her heart and her soul, behind with him, and the holes inside her that represented this splitting ached with loss, with grief.  Buffy only hoped it would be enough to sustain Spike until she could find her way back to him.  Until she could find the strength within herself to accept Spike into her existence as fully and completely as any of the others.  That time would come, maybe sooner than she realized.  Hopefully sooner than that.  But not now, and the knowledge threatened to break her in two.


As she walked away from Spike, memories flashed like a slideshow through her mind, of their night together, and the immensity of the raw, passionate love shining in his eyes as he looked at her.  Everything she thought she knew about the vampire had crumbled to dust, and she vowed, in that instant, not to forget.


The warmth of the sun touched her skin as she moved through the cemetery’s dewed grass, amongst headstones and statues that looked unfamiliar in the light of day.  Goosebumps pebbled the skin of her arms in the early morning breeze that filled the air with whispering promises of the certainty of more.  Despite her sorrow, despite the tears that streamed unchecked down her cheeks, Buffy’s lips curled up in a hint of a smile.  Because this wasn’t the end, not really.


This was just the beginning.


>>Chapter Four/Epilogue


( 5 have spoken — take the speaking stick )
Mar. 24th, 2010 10:47 am (UTC)
I cheated and finished it on the verse. :)
Mar. 24th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
And that's okay! I'm just posting it one (very massive) chapter at a time so that it's on my journal.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
I love the feel of missing scene type stories. So much could have happened between what we saw. Thank you!

(and it's cool you stuck it out for the updates instead of venturing elsewhere -- because it is everywhere except here!)
Jun. 2nd, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
that was a beautiful chapter
Jun. 7th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much!
( 5 have spoken — take the speaking stick )


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