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In my previous post I referenced my first ever fanfic, a story I wrote at fourteen for English class before I even knew that such a thing as fanfiction existed.  Well, I found the thing on my computer, and so because it amuses me that it exists, I'm going to share.  Just remember . . . I was fourteen.  My obsessions at the time included the television shows Remington Steele and M*A*S*H (anyone familiar with the latter and daring enough to read will see why this is relevant).  Disclaimer (if anyone even still cares, lol) - I don't own Murphy Michaels, Bernice Fox, or anyone or anything else associated with the television show, Remington Steele.

Unedited, in all it's glory, I give you:


Murphy Michaels in San Francisco (Written either late 1995 or early 1996)

Murphy Michaels took one last look at the tall office building and water fountain before getting in his red convertible.

Murphy, a 32 year old private investigator, was leaving his partner and friend of five years, Laura Holt, to start his own agency.  Partly, he was leaving because of “Mr. Steele”.  Laura invented him when she started the agency as her imaginary boss, to make people come to her agency.  He showed up a year ago, and became Remington Steele.  Laura was the private I, and he was there for show.  Laura’s motto had always been never mix business with pleasure.  At least it was until He showed up.

Murphy started his car and drove away.  He was moving from Los Angeles to open his agency in San Francisco.  L.A. all ready had the great Remington Steele and his “associate”, Laura Holt, why did it need another Private Investigator?

Murphy’s things were all ready in his new apartment, all he had to do was drive there. 

He was driving up a hill on his way to San Francisco. 

“Boy this hill is like a mountain road.”  Murphy thought to himself.  His thoughts quickly turned back to the road, and Laura.

A sudden noise tore Murphy from his thoughts.  He jumped from the startling noise and almost lost control of his car.

“What the heck was that?”  Murphy cried out loud.  He pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out of his car.  “Man!  A flat tire!”  Murphy cursed.  He opened the back door to get the flashlight and lug wrench.  It was getting dark and he didn’t want to make a mistake.

Murphy fixed the tire and continued on to San Francisco to start his new agency, and his new life.


Two days later Murphy was at his new office, interviewing secretaries.  So far he hadn’t found one that was as good as Bernice Fox, the former secretary at the Remington Steele Detective Agency.

“Next!”  Murphy yelled.  Expecting a woman to walk in, Murphy was surprised to see a short, awkward looking little man.

“M-Mr. Michaels?”  The man stuttered.

“Can I help you, Sir?”  Murphy asked, hoping this guy wasn’t applying for the job.

“I need your help.  It’s my daughter.  She’s been kidnapped.”  The man explained, apparently very worried.  “You see, yesterday I took her to a ball game, she likes to go to stuff like that.  Anyway, when it was over, I turned my back for one minute and she was gone.  I thought maybe I just didn’t see her, there were so many people, but I looked everywhere, she was gone.  Then I saw her being stuffed into a car, she looked so scared, I’m so worried.”  The little man broke down and started to cry.  “This morning I found this note on my door.”  The little man handed the note to Murphy.  Murphy took the note and read it carefully.


Arthur Pierce, president of CompuCorp

          If you ever want to see your daughter

          alive again, take the Compu’86 chip

          to Marty’s Restaurant, Tuesday, 4th.

          Take the envelope to the bartender

          and say it’s for John Johnson. 

          Then Leave.  Don’t wait.  No Police.

          If you don’t cooperate, your

          daughter is one dead little girl.


“Blackmail.”  Murphy said.  “All right, Mr. Pierce,”  Murphy said.

“Please, it’s Artie.”  The man said.  Murphy motioned for him to sit on the chair in front of the desk.

“Now, Artie, tell me all about this Compu’86 chip.”  Murphy said.  Artie explained how he was the president of a software company called CompuCorp, and how his company was arch rivals with two other companies, TechniComp and Compusoft.  He explained that his company had developed a new software and both Compusoft and TechniComp were after it.  His daughter, he explained, was the perfect thing to get to himself.

“Gabrielle is all I have.  Her mother died a year ago, when Gaby was three.”  Artie explained.  He handed a picture of his beautiful four year old daughter to Murphy.  Murphy took one look at the adorable little girl, and was hooked.

“I’ll find your daughter, Mr. Pierce.”  Murphy assured him.  “Don’t worry.”  Murphy thought about the case for a minute.  He decided to do some leg work.  The first thing he had to do was to was find out where the paper came from and what kind of typewriter it came from.  Next he had to talk to the big wigs at TechniComp and Compusoft.

After a day of leg work, Murphy came up with a few conclusions.  One, the paper was an expensive Japanese made stationary, sold by only one store in town.  Murphy got copies of two sales slips for purchases of that paper in the last month.  Two, the note was written with a very old typewriter.  The ‘g’, ‘e’, ‘c’, and ‘l’ buttons had definite markings.

His results from TechniComp and Compusoft were far less pleasing.  Both companies had motive for kidnapping Gabrielle Pierce.  Murphy’s job was to find out which company it was, and to get the little girl safely back to her father.

Two days later, on Tuesday the 4th, Murphy had gotten nowhere.  That night Artie was supposed to hand over the chip at Marty’s restaurant.  Murphy stared into his cup of coffee, to think of all the clues he had.

The car that the girl was taken in was a green Thunderbird with a rental sticker on the bumper.  That particular car had not been rented in two months.  He did find a few small clues in the car.  The first one was an address of a warehouse.  The second was a phone number that he was unable to trace.  The third looked like a missing key that someone had left there.  Those clues had no significance that Murphy could think of.  Dead End.  Only two people had bought the stationary the note was written on.  The names on the sales slips didn’t match anyone from TechniComp or Compusoft.  Dead End.  Murphy had two main suspects.  Randall Miller from TechniComp, and Warren Chouten from Compusoft.  He did have sort of a lead there.  Miller had disappeared for an hour on the day of the kidnapping, about the same time it took place.  But, Chouten also wasn’t at work that day.  Murphy had spent the last two days watching Miller and Chouten.  Nothing. 

“Wait!”  Murphy shouted.  He jumped up from the table and ran to the phone.  He then grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

Two hours later Murphy was knocking on the door of Artie Pierce.

“Mr. Michaels!”  Artie said as he opened the door.  “What is it?  Do you know who has Gaby?”  Murphy shook his head.

“No, but if I’m right, she’ll be in your arms by tonight.”  Murphy said to Artie.  “Come with me.  And bring the chip.”  Artie grabbed the envelope with the words ‘John Johnson’ printed on the front. 

Murphy drove Artie to Marty’s Restaurant.  Artie ran into the restaurant to drop off the package.  Murphy got out of the car, also.  He didn’t go into the restaurant because he knew Artie was being watched.  Instead, he walked across the street.  Murphy sat down on a bench and pretended to read a paper.  Artie came out a minute later and walked down the street and climbed into the car of a friend.  As soon as Artie was out of sight, two men in gray suits ran into the building.  Murphy went into action.  He waited in his car.  As soon as the men came out, Murphy started his car to follow the men.  At first the men had no idea that Murphy was following, but they caught on after a while.  They led Murphy on a wild chase through the streets of San Francisco.  The men thought they lost him, and pulled into an alley by an old warehouse.  Little did they know, Murphy Michaels was waiting for them across the street.  As soon as the men went into the warehouse, Murphy jumped out of his car and ran in after him.

“Who the heck are you?”  One of the men yelled.  The other pulled a gun and pointed it at Murphy.

“Where’s the girl?”  Murphy asked.  The men exchanged nervous glances, but kept their cool.

“I don’t what you’re talkin’ about.”  The man with the gun said.  Murphy smirked.

“Listen, I know you took the girl.  You’ve got the chip, and now you’ll hand her over.”  Murphy said.

“No, no, you see, I have no intentions of giving back the girl.  I’ve got the chip, and now I can get all the company’s research, software, you name it.  You see how powerful this kid is?”  The first man said. 

“Get the kid.”  The man with the gun said to the first man.  “You see, as long as he thinks his girl’s alive, the more cooperative he gets.”  The first man went into the room on the left.

“What the...”  The man exclaimed.  A half a dozen police officers came out of the room with guns.  Another half a dozen came out of the other rooms.

“Drop the gun, Miller!”  One of the officers yelled.  “Kick it to me!”  Miller, the man with the gun, dropped the gun on the floor and kicked it over to the officer.

While the officers took care of the men, Murphy took care of the girl.  He went into the room where Gaby was waiting with an officer.

“I’ll take her back to her father.”  Murphy said.  The officer lead Gaby over to Murphy.  “I’m going to take you back to your Daddy.”  Murphy said, holding out his hand.  Gaby took it, and they walked out of the building, across the street, and got into Murphy’s car.

“Who are you?”  Gaby asked, looking up at Murphy from the passenger seat.

“I’m Murphy Michaels.”  Murphy replied.  The little girl smiled as they continued on to Artie’s apartment.

“Gaby hunny!”  Artie exclaimed as he saw his little girl.  “Oh I’m so glad you’re okay!”  Artie hugged his daughter.  “How did you do it, Mr. Michaels?  This morning you were nowhere!”

“It’s a long story.”  Murphy said.  Artie invited him in.  He wanted to know just how Murphy got his little girl.

“Tell me, Mr. Michaels.”  Artie asked.

“This morning I went over my clues.  I couldn’t figure out who had your daughter, Miller or Chouten.  Then it occurred to me,”  Murphy began.  He explained it all.  The address in the car was the one from the warehouse, which was owned by Randall Miller.  The phone number that was in the car had appeared on Miller’s phone records.  The number was the old un-listed of Warren Chouten, who had recently changed his number.  Chouten knew Miller.  Murphy had the signatures on the sales slips matched with Chouten’s and Miller’s.  The hand writing on the latest sales slip matched Chouten’s.  The missing key belonged to Miller’s locker at TechniComp.

“And so,”  Murphy said.  “Miller and Chouten were in on it together.  Their companies were on the verge of a merger, and they got together to take CompuCorp down, using your daughter.”

“But how did you get her?”  Artie asked.

“Before I picked you up I went to the police.  I told them what I knew, and had them wait with Gaby to catch Miller and Chouten.”  Murphy explained.  “I followed them, and they thought they lost me.  I drove to the warehouse and waited for them.  When they went in I followed and distracted them.  When Chouten went to get the girl, the police made their move”

“Mr. Michaels, how can I ever thank you?”  Artie asked.

“It’s Murphy, and you don’t need to.”  Murphy replied.  Artie invited Murphy to stay a while, but Murphy had to go and interview more secretaries.  A chore he was not looking forward to.

“Next!”  Murphy called.  A woman with curly black hair walked in.  “Bernice!”  Murphy exclaimed.

“Hi Murph!”  Bernice said.  “I heard you needed a secretary.” 

“You’re hired!”  Murphy said.  He was happy.  He solved his first case, Bernice was his secretary, and his dream of his the Murphy Michaels Detective Agency had come true. 


The next day Murphy was Filing the Pierce Kidnapping File in his new, and very empty File Cabinet.  He had been thinking all morning about the different cases that he and Laura, and later with Mr. Steele, had worked on and solved.  He couldn’t help wondering what Laura was doing right then.  Most likely she and Mr. Steele were interviewing secretaries.  Of course, he couldn’t know that right at that moment Laura and Mr. Steele were in Acapulco, Laura sick from poison, and Mr. Steele drifting a hundred feet above water in a parachute.

“Murphy!”  Bernice called from her desk.  Murphy closed the drawer of his cabinet and walked into the main office.  There, a tall, dark haired man was sitting in a chair.

“Mr. Michaels, my sister’s been murdered.”  The man said.  “I need you to find out who killed her.”  Murphy couldn’t believe this.  He was a new the private I in town, and he was all ready on his second case.  Murphy and the man, Charles Houlihan, discussed what had happened.  Charles’ sister had disappeared a week before, only to be found in an alley, quite dead.

“More leg work.”  Murphy said to himself.  That was one thing he had on Mr. Steele, who was practically allergic to leg work.  “First things first.”  Murphy thought.  He went over to the morgue to see the autopsy report.

“Here you go, Mr., what’d you say your name was again?”  The morgue attendant asked, handing Murphy the autopsy report.

“O’Leary.  Michael O’Leary.”  Murphy said, using the name from one of Mr. Steele’s many passports.  It was always safer to use an alias when doing leg work of this sort, any good detective knows that.

Murphy opened the report.  Official Cause of death;  Bullet wound to the heart, approximately fourteen stab wounds to the neck, chest, and abdomen.  The stab wounds about four inches deep.  Approximate time of death; between 11:30 and Midnight, May 5th. Murphy closed the report and returned it to the attendant.

Murphy decided to do some research on the victim.  Find out who she knew, and who might like to see her dead.

By the end of the day Murphy had reduced his list of suspects from Larry Farr, Henry Morgan, David Winchester, Benjamin Pierce, Loretta Farrell, Margaret Rogers, Wayne Christopher, and Frank Linville, to Larry Farr and Wayne Christopher.

These two men were both old friends of the deceased, Peg Houlihan.  She hadn’t seen them for years, but they suddenly re-appeared two weeks before.  According to Charles, these men were drug traffickers, and Farr worked as a hit man for years before joining the drug circle.

More leg work.  First, Murphy had to find out everything he could on the two men, as well as their whereabouts at the time of the murder.

Two hours later Murphy had come up with nothing.  The men had left town and were nowhere to be found.

Now, how was Murphy Michaels to solve this case?  Maybe I’ll write the sequel.  But, until then, Murphy will keep on this case, like any great private investigator.  Eventually, like when he was working at the Remington Steele Agency, Murphy will solve the case.  Until then, keep trying, Murph.


( 4 have spoken — take the speaking stick )
Mar. 28th, 2009 02:09 am (UTC)
That was quite cute (and pretty good for your age at the time). I loved Remington Steele (but was more a fan of the lovely Pierce-ingly beautiful eyes...sigh). I did like Murphy though. I think you rooted for the underdog in that race LOL. You even let him swipe Bernice !

Love the MASH tie-in. Hum....who could/would have killed Hot Lips? My guess is they all did ala Murder on the Orient Express LOL. Love how you mixed up the names of the actors for suspects...clever!

now you have made me want to pull out the old Remington Steele vids and watch!
Mar. 28th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)
I gotta wonder, looking back, if my teacher had no idea what Remington Steele was, because I know I didn't use any sort of disclaimer . . . this could've got me in trouble for plagiarism easily!

I have the first two seasons of RS on DVD :) And I was totally mmmm Pierce Brosnan and a complete Laura/Mr. Steele (would that be Leele? Staura?) shipper, so I have no real clue why I picked Murphy for this story, lol. And, since Bernice did leave the same time as Murphy, I figured it would be likely she be looking for a new job and want to work for him!

I was so completely obsessed with M*A*S*H - and the name thing was more my fangirlishness (MASH fangirl, who knew?) coming out than lack of inspiration for names. Actually, looking back on some of my old writing at the time, I frequently had characters with last names like Pierce or Burns, lol.

Thanks for your "review", heee. It was fun finding this on my computer!
Mar. 28th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
Wow, 14 huh? Pretty darned good! Loved all the MASH names, I'm a MASH fanatic myself, so loved the way you mixed them all up, gave me giggles!
And what girl our age wasn't completely gaga over Pierce Brosnan? I still think he's hot.
Mar. 28th, 2009 03:24 am (UTC)
Yep, 14. Grade nine English class. Even then, I liked to make sure that things were spelled correctly and my sentences made sense. We'll work on plot and characterization later ;).

I had to mix them up so it wouldn't be as obvious, lol. Not that it isn't completely obvious anyway, but that's why I keep this old stuff around. It amuses me to no end.

Oh God yes . . . makes me grumble that he's not doing Bond anymore! I tell ya, something about a man with blue eyes and an accent . . .
( 4 have spoken — take the speaking stick )


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