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A Little Like Waking Up

That's how I'm feeling right now, these days, lately, in regards to fandom.  I'm itching for that connection again, to be in the midst of it, to be writing and reading, to dive right in and belong again.  Have you ever been asleep and have one of those slow wake-ups, where your brain is aware, you can tell what's going on around you (through a hazy kind of filter), but you just can't breech the surface?  That's how I can best describe me, right now.

My newest obsession -- Doctor Who -- has woken up the fangirl, but I've yet to make more than a tiny ripple in that community yet.  I'm writing, slowly, tentatively while the character voices solidify themselves in my head, but not ready to share.  Not yet.

What it's making me want desperately is a return to BtVS, to finish what I've left unfinished.  I'm afraid that fandom has either moved on without me, or has died out altogether.  I've neglected it badly, since I stopped writing, and now in the upward swing of what I have come to understand is my normal cycle of writing/complete writers' block/writing again, I am wondering if I will be able to come back at all.  The last time this happened I changed fandoms--Star Wars: Expanded Universe to Buffy the Vampire Slayer--and I'm wondering if this time I can manage both.

Can I write for Buffy and Doctor Who?  Can I even get writing again at all?  I've written more this past month than I have in years (about 14,000 words over two Doctor Who stories -- why do I always start out with long fics when I'm so much better at completing short ones? -- plus the 600 or so it took to finish the Spuffy-centric "That Easy" which was almost done), but it's not yet reached the point where I feel I'm truly back.

But I want to be.  It's been a long time since I've fallen hard enough for something to want to write in it.  I'm fannish by nature but it takes something special to inspire me to write for it, and Doctor Who, mostly Ten/Rose, has done that.  I'm trying to wake my Spuffy muses, too.

I'm floating here, just on the cusp of waking up, and I really, desperately need to.

Comments

( 10 have spoken — take the speaking stick )
slaymesoftly
Jan. 6th, 2014 11:11 pm (UTC)
Welcome back! I don't feel I have a good enough grasp on Dr. Who characters to write in that fandom (although, could probably do Amy if I worked at it). I did 2 Torchwood xovers that were fun, but pretty much exhausted my ability to write in that fandom. ;)

I feel like there's still stuff to write in the Buffyverse - either comic-based or just plain future ideas - but ideas are coming less and less often. I hope you get stimulated to go back and at least finish up what you began, even if you don't feel a need to keep writing. The fandom is much reduced, but not gone by any means (see Rebcake's post in Buffyverse Top Five today and the convos that followed it).
abelina
Jan. 6th, 2014 11:18 pm (UTC)
I really want to finish Could Be You. Seriously, it's the last chapter but do you think I could manage it? Plus I have the beginnings of an amazing long fic (I'm about four chapters in I think) that I love so much but hasn't seen the light of day, and a few others where I've been ambitious and posted a few chapters then abandoned (oh, do I hate that). I may never get to those, but I feel if I can get my muses into gear I could contribute a bit more to the BtVS world.

I'm just so captivated by the Doctor and Rose (I recall she wasn't your favourite, but that you respected the Doctor's feelings for her) that the ideas for fic for the two of them have been running rampant in my head and I've started writing two of them while re-watching the two seasons with Rose and those with Tennant after Rose, just to try to get their voices and their characterizations right. I want to tell these stories so badly, and I've already come across many beautiful stories for that pairing.
debbartram
Jan. 7th, 2014 03:15 am (UTC)
Oh welcome back! I so miss your writing! And I'm super excited that you have a new interest in 10/Rose. I absolutely loved that combination, so would love to see where you go with that. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy Matt Smith as 11, and stopped watching. Now that he's regenerated again, I should revisit the Whoverse!
abelina
Jan. 7th, 2014 03:18 am (UTC)
It makes me feel good knowing a few of my BtVS readers also know Ten/Rose. Gives me a little in, maybe?

I liked Matt Smith, and enjoyed his seasons for what they were, but they didn't grab me like the the Eccleston/Tennant seasons. It almost felt like watching a different show, some of the time. BUt my heart belongs to Ten <3 I am waiting with trepidation to see how the newest Doctor does.

...And how have you been? THanks for your thoughts :)
debbartram
Jan. 7th, 2014 03:25 am (UTC)
Oh, you'll always have an in with me! You are an excellent writer!

I really should go back and watch the Matt Smith eps. My husband made it farther than I did, but he eventually stopped too. We both want to see the eps with the old doctors (including Tennant) coming back, and the transition to Capaldi. It'll be interesting to see what he does with the part.

I have been lurking around for awhile, but not very participatory for quite awhile. Real life getting in the way, and all that. Hope you had a lovely holiday!
abelina
Jan. 7th, 2014 05:31 pm (UTC)
There is much to enjoy about Matt Smith's Doctor, just do so without expecting him to be David Tennant. It isn't perfect, there are always going to be things you won't like about those later seasons, but I think they are worth watching anyway. I loved Amy and Rory as companions, too.

I'm fighting the urge to lurk. I do that a lot, actually, and I should be better about commenting on others' journals, too.
goldenusagi
Jan. 7th, 2014 04:16 am (UTC)
I'm afraid that fandom has either moved on without me, or has died out altogether.

That's how I feel.
abelina
Jan. 7th, 2014 05:34 pm (UTC)
At least I'm not the only one. It just feels like fewer of the authors I want to read are writing (those on my f-list who are writing, I DO VERY MUCH want to read your stuff), and without the firy interest I am hesitant to delve into new stuff by people I don't recognise.
yumimum
Jan. 7th, 2014 09:41 am (UTC)
Well I for one can't wait to read your Doctor Who stuff. *feeds muse a cookie*
abelina
Jan. 7th, 2014 05:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, nice icon!

I hope I can deliver, on the Doctor Who. Slowly plugging away on it!
( 10 have spoken — take the speaking stick )

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